Just Shoot Me

Basically, my house is in pretty good shape.  Really and truly.  But for some reason, this past year, when I could least afford it, I've had to throw big chunks of money at all sorts of things that had nothing to do with tile or a new kitchen floor or a new bathroom or anything fun and sexy and visible like that.

No.  First the water softener ruptured and after living with scary hard water for several months I admitted I needed a new one, and a water filter as well if the job were to be done properly.  Then the attic insulation went bad and the only feasible way to replace it was with spray foam.  At the same time, I found out I had all sorts of things wrong with my roof and flashing, and that had to be taken care of.  As it was being taken care of, I was informed that the wet place on my chimney breast is due to my having no liner in the flue for my hot water heater.  OK, I got a decent bid from some plumbing and heating guys to come put one in.  But up the ladders they go, and down they come-- they couldn't get the liner in, due to the bend in the chimney, they said.  Call a chimney sweep/technician, they recommend.

I've been calling chimney firms on and off the past month, but only two have actually come by to take a look at things.  And only one has actually gotten up on a ladder and looked down the chimney.  That was today, and just shoot me, it doesn't look good, it looks expensive, and it looks like the kind of thing that can't really be put off.

I want to get the water heater flue lined so I can get the chimney breast dried out and hang the wallpaper in the living room.  But the chimney repairman who was out this evening tells me the real problem is birds' or squirrels' nest material that's practically blocking the flue and sending not only condensation, but also carbon monoxide, back down into the house.  Worse carbon monoxide, since the HVAC guys knocked out the cement that used to seal the WH pipe into the wall of the flue in the basement in their futile attempt to install the liner last month.  I'd wondered why I seemed to get a whiff of gas down there, even when the furnace was off.  And maybe I should wonder why I've been feeling stupider than usual these days.

So it won't be enough just to shove an aluminum liner in there, I'm told.  The chimney must be cleared, then I really should get a stainless steel liner, because aluminum will pit and corrode out in three years or so.  If I was to be really, really pessimistic about my employment chances, I'd say who cares, I'll be selling the house before then anyway.  But what if I don't?  Then I've got the same problem again.

And, says the chimney tech, it won't be enough for me to run the liner in then slam the existing cap with the cute fins back on.  Those cute fins have way big gaps, 2" or so, that let all those birds and/or squirrels in, and nothing to stop them building their nests in the new liner.  So I would have to get new caps for my flues, and no, it wouldn't work just to stretch some wire mesh over the top of the flues under the existing cap.  That would just mean the birds would build their nests at the top and block it up there.

I know this is no hypothetical situation.  I dug around three 13-gallon trash bags worth of birds' nest material out of my eaves last October.  And their handiwork is in my WH flue right now.

Crap.  He's given me a ballpark estimate, and I thought if I ever would spend that much on the chimney, it'd be going well towards covering the cost of a pretty new gas fireplace insert.  He's willing to work out financial terms, but crap, crap, crappity crap, why does all this have to come up now?

Hey, Lord, don't You realize how broke I am?  Or maybe I should just let the house moulder and go to ruin, in the good old-fashioned style?

Meanwhile, I've cracked open a window in the basement.  And a CO detector is on my shopping list when I go to Home Depot after work tomorrow.

When It Rains, It Pours. Over.

I'm not too quick on the uptake sometimes.

It's been relatively dry here in southwestern Pennyslvania these past few days. Cloudy and cool, but no rain.

So I'm not sure why it made no impression that for several days I've had a steady drip, drip, drip, from the downspout that feeds my rain barrel. It's been so persistent it's left a greenish algae slick on the wooden barrel's top.

And why did I not think it alarming or unusual when, the last time it rained hard, the gutter on the west side of my back porch was overflowing? It was raining hard, that's what I figured. When there's more water than the system can take, overflows happen.

Anyway, I had plenty of water in the rain barrel-- until I used most of it the past few days watering the crucifers, tomatoes, peppers, and other vegetables I've just planted.

So when it started to rain about an hour and a half ago, leaving aside the fact that I'd never gotten out to mulch up the rest of last year's leaves for the pepper and cucumber bed, I was very glad. Hurray! drinks all round for the grass and the plants and a refill for my rain barrel!

Or not. Kept waiting for the water to come gushing down the spout, and nothing was happening. The deluge got harder. Still nothing much into the barrel.

But oh! off that west porch gutter! Floods! waterfalls! inundations! tidal waves!

Uh, Kate? Ever occur to you that something up there might be-- is-- blocked?

Whatever's gotten stuck, it's underneath the wire gutter guard. A view out the third floor window tells me the guard is intact.

And by knocking as far as I can up the downspout, I've determined that it's clear, towards the bottom, at least.

Oh, fun. This means a trip out on the roof. Adventures! I've never done that before. I've got a handy window for it, but it'll need to wait till things dry out again. And until I can draft a spotter. Life's interesting enough without me breaking my neck falling off the top of the back porch.