Why Expertise Matters

This is how it looked in July 2007 when plaster expert Rory Brennan was using his Big Wally's PlasterMagic system to anchor up the plaster in the central hallway ceiling at Howard Hall Farm in Athens, New York.

Notice how smooth and flat everything looks. Notice how few holes he had to drill, and how few washers he utitilized to get a successful result. Notice how they're screwed in just right, neither too loose nor too snug.

Got it?

On the other hand, this is what it looks like this evening after I used the same system to reattach some of my study ceiling in Beaver, Pennsylvania.

See my ceiling pockmarked with washers. See how lumpy and bumpy the surface appears. See how I squashed in some of the plaster by tightening the washers too far.

Does practice and expertise and mastery of one's craft matter? Jolly right it does.

Nevertheless, this is still a plaster repair system that anyone with a reasonably good drill can successfully use. It's much easier and better and more efficient that trying to mud over permanent washers or ripping out the plaster and lath and installing drywall. My ceiling may end up looking a little-- uh-- rustic, but if the plaster stays up the Big Wally's has done it's job.

And messy as my repair job may be, I can plead that has a lot to do with what I was working with. Maybe my 93-year-old ceiling was actually in worse shape than the one at Reggie Young's 229-year-old farmhouse. After all, at some points I had to use longer-than-normal screws (2") just to get the tips in to the lath, the plaster was sagging so badly.

Or maybe it comes with being an amateur. In any event, the washers stay up the next two days, to give the adhesive time to dry. Between now and then I'll be praying I didn't tighten them all too tightly and squeeze all the adhesive out.

I doubt it. That's a couple of tubes worth up there. And it didn't all squirt out, did it?

Damage Control

Oh, to go back a year and repair the plaster over my 3rd floor study stairwell, right after I bought my adjustable ladder!

Maybe then I wouldn't have the mess and hassle I have now.

But I didn't, and I do. And unlike the semi-refinished woodwork around here, the falling plaster refuses to let itself be ignored.

So yesterday I called Big Wally's Plaster Magic up in Brattleboro, Vermont, and got Lauri Klenkel, aka Mrs. Rory Brennan. She remembered me from the Howard Hall Farm class. I told her I had a mess on my hands and gave her the URL so she could look at Sunday night's blog entry.

Oh, yes, right. That is a mess, isn't it?

But not an irretrievable one. Rory had just stepped out, so Lauri was hesitant to give a final pronouncement on how I should proceed. But she definitely thought piecing the fallen chunks back together would be the best way to go. In the meantime, she said, I should affix some kind of lath or 1x material to the ceiling to keep the loose stuff from coming down. She'd give Rory the message to call me later to advise me what else to do.

That was yesterday. Mr. Brennan hasn't been able to get back with me yet, but that's okay because I was too busy today doing what I knew I needed to do anyway.

Doing, that is, what I ought to have done late yesterday afternoon right after I got off the phone to Vermont. I did use some spare plastic washers to anchor up one or two of the loose plaster pieces. That'd do, I figured, till I could get to Lowe's for longer drywall screws and the 1x's. Which I should have done immediately thereafter.

But did I? Nooooo! I got on the computer until it was too late to go. Today, I didn't even begin to do anything about securing the loose plaster until it was after noon.

But then I got onto it. I really did. Especially after I began to hear rustlings on the plastic dropcloth around the stairs, that were not made by any of my cats. Whoops! Keys failing!

Down I ran to the basement virtuously to cut some 1x3's I had to the correct length. Meanwhile, up on the 3rd floor, several square feet more of plaster were giving up their hold and coming down.

Okay, okay, I get the message! Definitely time for serious damage control. I was off to the blue and gray store; do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Bought four 1x2x6's and a box of coarse 2" drywall nails.

I cut the wood strapping to the right length (well, mostly. Don't know why that one ended up short) and brought it upstairs to screw it to the ceiling.

This was the point when my low blood sugar kicked in and filled me with woe, angst, existential gloom, and general consternation. I could not get the screws to screw in. And when I did, they weren't long enough to hold. Aaaagghhh!!! I can't do this! What is wrong with me? Why aren't I rich enough to hire somebody to help me do this? Why am I single-- if I were married, I'd have someone around who'd have to help me do this! What if all the plaster in the room falls down? Why are all my friends not available right now? Why? why? why? Woe! woe! woe!

(Sorry.)

Going back to bed and sucking my thumb wasn't an option. So I did what any normal DIYer would do in the circumstances-- I drove back to Lowe's for a box of 3" coarse drywall nails and more 1x2 wood strips and a packet of Phillips-head driver bits. My head was so woolly I couldn't verbalize what the last item was called and the clerk looked at me as if I were the world's worst ditz.

Never mind; I found what I needed and got it home. With the help of a late lunch (which finally kicked in) and my old corded drill (which still works, thank God, and has better torque than the battery-operated one), I got the strapping up. Hopefully the plaster will now cease its rain of terror. The worst gap around the edges is now down to a half inch. I can do something with that.

While I'm waiting for more supplies (the special washers, mainly) from Big Wally's, what I need to do is secure the loose pieces of lath. And fish out the broken plaster keys from between it and the plaster.

After that, I'm not sure. Lauri Brennan thinks it'd be easier for me to put the existing plaster pieces back up. But the more I look at this void over my stairway, the more I wonder if I'd rather take a crack at replastering it.

I mean, I did take that class, didn't I?